Top 10 Mistakes People Make When Trying to Become Professional Musicians



If you want to become successful in the music industry, there many things you need to know and do. But even if you get all that right, you can prevent yourself from reaching big success by making critical mistakes along the way (and there are many potential mistakes one could make, when not being careful). After coaching and mentoring many musicians and bands seeking a career in music, the same patterns of false assumptions, problems and mistakes appear over and over again. Here are the top 10.

Mistake #10 - Not having a compelling image that is congruent with your music. Most musicians (and bands) severely underestimate the importance of their image. Yes, music is about 'music', but music business success is about a total package that includes music, image and visual stage show among other things that need to be fully developed in a congruent way.

Mistake #9 - Trying to 'get your name out there'. Although this seems to be a main goal of most musicians and bands, it is the wrong approach to start with. Before trying to be seen and heard as much as possible, it is often more important to focus on 'converting' the people who hear and see you into becoming actual fans. This 'conversion' is the first key to your promotional success, NOT getting seen or heard as much as possible.

Mistake #8 - Believing that social media websites are the keys to online music promotion for musicians and bands. Social media websites are a tool. They are ONE piece of the online music marketing puzzle. Music industry companies (record labels, artist managers, booking agents, etc.) are far more interested in the popularity of YOUR website, not how many friends you have at MySpace, YouTube, Facebook or any other website that you do not own and control. Want to impress the industry with your band's promotion? Build your website traffic.

Mistake #7 - Not investing enough time into building your music career. Most musicians spend most of their time on music, but put very little effort into the many other critical elements needed to make it in the music business. If you are already a talented musician, you should invest at least 50% of your time into starting or advancing your music career. If you are still developing your musical skills, you should still invest around 25% of your 'music' time into building a future music career.

Mistake #6 - Surrounding yourself with people who are negative, lazy and lack ambition. If you are very serious about becoming a professional musician and building a great career in music, then you absolutely must surround yourself with like-minded musicians.

Mistake #5 - Having merely mediocre live performing skills. Many musicians, who are not yet in a good band, put off developing their live performing and stage presence skills. This is a big reason why talented musicians don't get into really good bands that they audition for. Your music may be good, but a live 'show' requires more than great music. If people only wanted to hear the music, they would listen to you at home. Both fans and record labels want (and expect) to see a REAL show. Neglecting this area results in talented musicians and bands becoming quickly forgotten.

Mistake #4 - Focusing on increasing the 'quantity' of fans instead of the 'intensity' of your fans. The 'number' of fans you have should always be your secondary focus (not your primary one) if you want to become successful in the music industry. The fact is, it is not the number of 'fans' that matters most, it's the number of FANATICS which will contribute more directly to your success (or lack of it). This is particularly true in the beginning of a band's music career. Focus more effort on converting your existing fans into raving fanatics. Learn to do this and the number of your overall fans will increase through powerful word of mouth.

Mistake #3 - Not enough cash flow to support your music career. Like it or not, it takes money to build a music career. Even if other people/companies are paying for your record, tour support, merchandise, etc. you still need to have the freedom to pursue opportunities as they come. Sadly, many musicians miss opportunities because they can't afford to take advantage of them.In addition to a decent income, you also need the flexibility of being able to take time away from that income source to go into the studio, go on tour, etc. That is why learning how to teach guitar is such a great way to achieve both if you learn how to become a highly successful guitar teacher.

Mistake #2 - Not enough depth in your music relationships. There's an old expression, "It's not what you know, it's who you know." In music this is often modified to, "It's not who you know, it's who knows you." The truth is, it's not about either. The most important aspect of connections within the music industry is how deep are the current relationships you have now and will develop in the future. You don't want to simply know people or be known, you want people who know you to have a real deep connection with you so that you are always on the top of their mind when opportunities present themselves. Ask yourself, "What can I do right now to deepen my existing relationships further on an ongoing basis?"

Mistake #1 - Having a fundamental misunderstanding about what record companies look for - and expect from new bands. This is a huge topic, but in a nutshell it's very useful to think of record companies like a bank that lends money to people or small businesses. Record companies make most of their decisions about whom they will work with and what the terms will be in much the same way that a bank will determine who they will loan money to and what the terms of the loan will be. Both record companies and banks basically want to see 3 things:

1. How much value do you bring to the deal right now.
2. How much risk do you bring with you right now.
3. How much potential value and risk might you bring to them in the future after they invest in you.

If you want to buy a house, the bank wants to know a lot about the specific house you want to buy and EVEN MORE about YOU. Record companies are the exact same, they want to know about your music, your talent and your band, but they also care as much (or more) about YOU (and your band mates) as people. What about YOU makes a record deal a good or bad investment for them.



To become a good musician takes a tremendous amount of hard work and dedication. Here's 10 ways you can make yourself a better musician and as well as cut the practise hours!

Here's my tips to making the most of your natural ability:

1. Transcribe Music:

Most musicians groan at the thought of transcribing music and it can be a tedious task but it's probably the single most important skill you can develop, apart from practising your own instrument- in fact, it might even be more important!

Since all your muscular movements are guided by your ears when playing (or should be) it's vital that your ability to recognise pitch, rhythm and structure are as good as you can make them. Over time, transcribing music will refine your ears and your ability to understand music. It will make you more confident when you perform, as you'll know exactly what's going on just by listening. My advice is to get a simple audio editing program so that you can easily loop a bar (measure) at a time and then listen with headphones and notate each note that you can hear. When you've finished you need to go back and fill in any gaps.

2. Know How to Practise:

This may sound obvious but very few music students actually practice properly or efficiently and it's not as easy as you might think. Practise should be approached in two different ways, firstly, very slow practise, where you are aware of each nuance and detail - although it's very important to keep the flow.

Secondly practise "playing". By this, I mean that you should play as though you have an audience so that you cannot stop. It's important to NOT THINK-just play. Allow yourself to be absorbed by the music and enjoy it. It can take quite some time before you can easily slip into the correct mental frame of mind for each type of practise

3. Listen to All Music Styles:

Any musician that only listens to one or two styles that they like, is a poor musician. My own specialty is Jazz but I felt that I really learned a great deal about how to play Jazz from listening to modern pop music. This may sound strange but it helped me pinpoint what was missing in my Jazz playing because certain elements more far more obvious in pop. Also my ability to play classical piano was greatly improve when I tried to use the same mental approach that I use when I play Jazz. Ignore the fashions and only listen to good music, no matter what it is.

4. Play With Other Musicians:

Most aspiring musicians are only too happy to get together to play whether there's an audience or not. You really want to be playing with people that are slightly better than you. As you improve you'll find that either your fellow musicians improve with you or you'll meet other, better musicians who'll want to play with you.

5. Learn the Piano:

The piano is a vital instrument if you want to understand harmony. You don't need to develop a great technique but you should put time into learning harmony. Most musicians I meet that don't play the piano, really regret it.

6. Practice for no more than 4 hours per day:

This is important- I spent a lot of time when I was younger, practising 8 hours a day but I really think that 50% of that was a waste of time and possibly detrimental.

Your practise needs to be concentrated but then you need to leave music alone and do something else in order to forget about it. During this time your mind can relax and the mental images tend to fix themselves in your mind like an image fixes itself on a photographic plate. Anything more than 4 hours a day is likely to be detrimental to your muscles, your mind and your social life.

7. Keep going!:

When I was first starting out as a musician I felt that I wanted to give up on many occasions. What surprises me is that when I've spoken to some great professional players, they also had similar thoughts about their own career. I couldn't believe that such gifted musicians would have wanted to give up but what's more important than raw ability - is hard work and perseverance.

8. Learn to read music:

The amount of great musicians I know that can only play by ear is frustrating because they minimize their opportunity for work. These musicians always regret the fact that they didn't learn to read when they were younger.

9. Learn to Play by Ear:

The amount of great musicians I know that can only read and not play by ear is also frustrating because they minimize their opportunity for work

10. Enjoy your Music:

Let's face it - music should be though provoking, uplifting and enjoyable- so enjoy it.

Focus more on getting the feeling across to the audience and less on the playing the right notes and I guarantee that you'll probably make less mistakes and the audience won't notice the ones that you might make!

To most of us being a musician seems like a very romantic idea indeed. When we think of musicians often glamorous visions of screaming fans, flashing lights, orchestras playing in perfect harmony, rockstars with mad sex appeal, and lavish lifestyles come to mind. But what are the true advantages and disadvantages of living day to day as a practicing musician? In this article we will discuss the various benefits and drawbacks of being a musician.

Benefits

1. Playing music is soul fulfilling
Playing music is cheaper than therapy and a hell of a lot more fun. An emotional release and means of self expression like no other. Playing music can take you places in your own heart and mind that you may not have ever known were there. It can lift you up and help you escape when you're feeling blue, or give you a fun way to spread the joy when you're feeling good.

2. Sex appeal
Although this is definitely one of the worst reasons to become a musician, being a good player definitely has it's upsides when it comes to the opposite sex. Arguably musicians have more sex appeal than any other type of artist. You might be dog ugly, but if you can lay down a song and nail it for some people, odds are you'll catch someone's eye and you won't have much trouble finding a date.

3. Connecting with an audience
The feeling of connection when playing music for a receptive audience is like no other experience on earth. Having people cheer you on while you do what you love not only feels absolutely amazing, it prompts you to perform at your best and go beyond the limits of what even you thought you could do. There's no place like the stage.

4. Meeting new people
As a musician you will meet and befriend people whom you may not have had anything in common with otherwise, fan and fellow musician alike. Music like other art forms can unite people from all walks of life, no matter their differences because it reaches people on an emotional level. Emotions go beyond whether or not you speak the same language, have the same colored skin, or live in the same neighborhood. Everyone knows what it is to feel and as a musician you have the gift of being able to help total strangers work through and understand their own feelings and problems through your music. And one way or another, they will thank you for it.

5. A focused, active mind
Being a musician will sharpen your mind and hone your focus. The intense mental stimulation and concentration playing music requires will activate and exercise your mind. It's been scientifically proven that playing music can enhance the brain and sharpen listening skills for picking up the subtle nuances of speech and other sounds. Playing music keeps your mind strong. A strong, active mind will help you live a richer, happier, and more fulfilling life. Playing music makes you smarter!

Drawbacks

1. Your work is subjective
One of the most difficult aspects of being a musician (or an artist of any kind for that matter) is that what makes some people love you and shout your praises from the rooftops will make others hate your filthy guts. Music, like other art forms is subject to the opinions of the people experience it. It can be tough to take when you work very hard at something and pour your heart and soul into it, only to be judged, criticized, and found lacking. If you want to be a musician, it's important to grow a thick skin and learn to take the criticism along with the praise.

2. Training
There's just no getting around it. Being a musician takes hours and hours of training and practice to become proficient and years to become really good. Great musicians make it look easy, but behind the glamour and romance there are years of practice and hard work. If you want to be a good musician, it takes more than just a burning desire. You will have to take action and put in the time. But make no mistake, if you truly want it bad enough, you can do anything.

3. Solitude
As with many other art forms, writing and learning to play music takes a good deal of alone time. For some, it can be difficult to balance making time for your passion and keeping up with your friends and family. For others, this may actually be viewed as a benefit. It's not all dark dismal solitude of course. You can take lessons, play in a band, find a writing partner, or get out and play for people. But if you want to become proficient at your instrument or learn to write a good tune, you'll need to sit down and work it out on your own.

4. Lack of financial stability
More often than not, life as a professional musician is fraught with financial instability. Going back to disadvantage #1, the problem stems from the fact that your work is subject to the opinions of others and if you think it's only about being a good player, you may be in for a rude awakening. It takes tons of promotion, hard work, people skills, and business sense to be successful as a professional musician. But there's no doubt it can be done if you play your cards right. For those of us only in it for the fun, no need to worry about this one.

5. Irregular hours
Going out and playing gigs by night, promoting by day, and long trips away from home while on tour don't necessarily leave a lot of a room for a normal, stable home life. It's a far cry from the 9 to 5 many of us are accustomed to. This may sound like a dream come true depending on your priorities, but for anyone hoping to have some semblance of normalcy or routine in their lives, being a musician can be a rough ride. There are a lot of ups and downs and it can tough to deal with the swings. Again if you're playing music just for fun, no need to fret about this one.

While the title of this article implies that it is just for the guitarist, in actuality, it's for all musicians who are struggling with today's slowing economy.

Let's face it, jobs are hard to come by these days...especially in corporate America. Many believe that the music industry is suffering even more. Musicians seem to be having more and more difficulty finding Gigs in their local areas. Therefore, for the sake of my fellow musicians, I won't discuss fame and fortune in this article. The topic here, will be geared more towards the local economies and the musicians that help to make them tick.

The truth be known, It's great to see hardship in our industry. Why? Because it's another way of sifting out the musicians who think the world owes them something. First, the world owes you NOTHING and it owes me NOTHING. Not one thing. Not even one half of one thing. This is a great starting point.

Many local musicians (pick any city) are used to the days when Gigs grew on trees. Most could walk into a club with a demo and be working that same week. It's not so easy these days, or so one might think. Whatever happened to the saying and belief that "when life throws you lemons, make lemonade"? Once again, the economy is sifting out the weak, and opening things up for the strong.

Here's the kicker. Gigs do still grow on trees if one knows what to look for and how to negotiate the deal. This is not the first bad economy and it won't be the last. Therefore, stop whining (if that's what you're doing), get off your tail, and THINK! Regretfully, thinking is not easy for some musicians to do, but perhaps it's time to break new ground. If this sounds rather intimidating, good. This was the intent!

In order to fully explain my proposed action plan for you, it's important to understand where I'm getting my information from, right? In other words, why trust me or this article if you're not privy to some of my early background. By the way, I have no interest whatsoever in playing Top-40 clubs, because I did it for so many years before playing nationally and internationally. However, all of those club-playing years paid off for me and I truly hope that you'll utilize your talent after reading this article. Where is my information coming from? Experience, experience, and more experience.

With over fifty years of guitar under my fingers, thousands of Gigs played, tours accomplished, publishing, recording, and compositions under my belt, I'd like to thank the east coast (New York in particular), for giving me my foundation in music. Of course, God is behind it all, so praise to him first for all things.

For those of you who don't understand the east coast music scene (I've lived in Southern California now for the past 30 years), it's important to understand that musicians can still work seven days each week if they so desire. The east coast takes good care of their local bands and musicians. The money, as I remember, is really good in places like New York, Chicago, Detroit, Boston, etc. Imagine working as much as you want doing what you love to do. The resulting skills (musicianship, knowledge of industry, negotiation, PR, etc.) are honed to the absolute maximum. I played approximately twenty years in those east coast circuits before moving on to other things as a guitarist.

I don't know where you live, but I can tell you that the west coast music scene is entirely different than the Midwest or east coast music scene. The difference is work, which equals money. So, how can I sit here on the west coast describing how good the east coast music scene is? Because the scene (wherever that is), will be whatever YOU make it. Oh, I can hear it now. What is this guy talking about? Allow me to explain.

Before moving west and further into the music industry, I dealt with club owners on a daily basis for twenty years. They all have something in common; the want, need, and the burning desire to make money. That's right, money! Cold, hard cash. With that thought in mind, do you really think a club owner in California is any different than a club owner in New York City? Believe me they're not. The only difference is what the local musicians have taught the local club owners, and what the local musicians accept from the local club owners. In other words, many musicians have ended up shooting themselves in the foot, by lowering their self esteem and self worth as a player. Many accept peanuts for pay. This is absurd folks. We all love music, but really...come on, get your plan in motion and then work it! There's a twist here. The twist is in adjusting your thinking. Especially if you're a working musician and receiving only peanuts for pay.

Make no mistake about it, every single club owner has one goal in mind. The goal is how much money will the patrons spend on any given night as a result of the entertainment in the house. And, how many people will continue to dance the night away to the great sounds of Jackie Jack and The Blue Plate Special?

The bottom line for the club owner is MONEY! Now, here's the interesting thing (especially west coast). It appears that many club musicians are into the "let me show you my awesome talent" thing, rather than understanding the value of a good paying Gig. I know that sounds a bit cold, but it is what it is folks.

The club owners are on to this ego thing and therefore, offer only peanuts to the talent. The talent teaches the club owners that this process is OK. Why? Because most musicians just want to play and be recognized for their talent. The money is secondary. But wait...isn't it all for the love of music? You're kidding me right? How many pats on the back do you need before you concentrate on making a good living in music? One, two, one hundred, fifty million? Believe me, if you have a family to provide for, those pats on the back are the last thing you should be thinking of. Sadly though, a majority of musicians live for the back patting thing. They just don't get it.

Let me give you a couple of examples of what I'm describing here. I remember when I first arrived in Hollywood. I soon established a great working band and went into the heart of Hollywood in search of a Gig. The first club owner I encountered offered me less than two peanuts. Being from New York I, of course, laughed in his face. Hey, who cares who plays in this town, I needed a Gig and was not impressed with the line of crap and laundry list of names that he spewed at me.

I left his club and went directly across the street to another club (not as hip as the one I had just left). I spoke with the club owner and he was very open and receptive to my idea. What was my idea? I negotiated a four peanut deal for salary, 50% of the door and 35% override from alcohol sales (be careful with this one. The ABC board watches for this), and anything over two thousand dollars from all sources was his to keep (unheard of, right?). Guess what! My quick little working band kicked the crap out of the newly signed (major label) band that played across the street. Further, we walked away with thousands and the other band walked with peanuts. Oh yeah, they worked under the mask of showcasing their talent.

The club owner across the street was livid. Night after night, we attracted massive crowds along with many of his patrons. Eventually he caved and asked me to name my price. Think about that....NAME MY PRICE! Wow, who do I think I am! Answer...I am!

Do you have any idea how much money a club with a good Bar makes every night? Even a hole-in-the-wall dive bar, can make $2,000.00 per night. That's with ten pool tables, and a 20-stool bar and a juke box. An upper end club can make 5,6,$7,000.00 per night just in alcohol sales. Add food and door receipts to that scenario and guess what you have? A very, very happy club owner. Now, what do you get? Peanuts? Why? Because that's what you accepted. Boycott that club or creatively appropriate his patrons to the club across the street and watch how fast the money appears in your bank account.

Negotiate, think creatively, put on your business hat, create your own rules, don't follow the crowd. Don't knock on the door...knock the door down! If someone wants your talent, then it's PLAY-FOR-PAY, NOT Pay-for-play.

There are hundreds of ways to make a good living in music. However, a certain confidence must be present in each negotiation. There are no rules. There is no set amount of money that a club will pay for a band. They'd all like you to believe that there is a set amount, but there's really not. The club owners pay only what a musician or band teaches them is acceptable. Think about the amount of money your talent will earn for the club owner! This should straighten out your thinking very quickly. Actually, if you really knew the amount of money some of these clubs take in, I'll bet you'd almost be angry and feeling a bit used and abused.

It's important to get a handle on what you're working for. Is it ego? Is it to show off your talent? Is it for the applause? Is it to earn money to buy food, pay a mortgage, or send your kids to college? Once you truly define your purpose, the rest will fall into place.

Yes, times are tough. Yes, a Gig is a Gig. However, remember this is the perfect time to negotiate with the club owners. They need business. They need to make money. So do you! That's the whole point. Make money. If you don't, someone else will.

Have you ever faced your time to shine, and felt overcome with an intense hesitation or worry about an upcoming performance? As the time nears for you to address your audience, do you suffer from sweaty palms? Is there a lump in your throat? Do you experience tremors, tension, stuttering, upset stomach or loss of focus? All of these symptoms are a sign that you may suffer from performance anxiety, which is a common problem that requires a little mental rewiring to get you on the right track.

Music performance anxiety develops from the thoughts, feelings and habits of a musician. The level of anxiety that one has will affect a musician's desire to perform, as well as their ability. In order to deliver a high-quality performance, a musician must overcome the mental obstacles that create a barrier between wanting to perform and actually completing the act. When you feel anxious, pressure begins to build up that makes it impossible to pick up an instrument or sing a song.

Main Types of Performance Anxiety

There are three main kinds of performance anxiety that musicians encounter. The first occurs before a performance date is even mentioned. Fear of rejection or self-doubt regarding their abilities may hinder a musicians attempt to arrange a showing of their talents. The anxiety sometimes mounts to the point where a musician never feels they are truly ready to perform in front of others.

The second type of anxiety occurs during an actual performance. Gripped by fear of what the audience thinks of them, a musician's body might tremble. Sweat may form on their forehead, nose, neck or hands. These bodily reactions may also impact the way an instrument is played. Voices become tight or locked, emitting cracked, flat or quivering notes. The anxiety of a musician might be so high that they may actually self-sabotage their performance without even knowing it.

Anxious musicians often become quite distracted by the slightest movement or noise during a performance. They might take this opportunity to blame their inability to complete their set because of outside interruptions. This is just an excuse. Within themselves, they do not feel completely adequate to continue their performance. Musicians with performance anxiety often exhibit poor concentration, as well as loss of focus.

After a performance, the anxiety madness continues, which is seen through a harsh, unforgiving critique of their presentation. The musician will nit-pick every aspect of their set and despite positive encouragement and comments, they will continue to downplay and dismantle their ability.

Tips On Managing Performance Anxiety

When it comes to getting over the hump of performance anxiety, there are numerous ways to combat the fears and doubt that come with presentation. Below are five aspects of performing that a musician suffering from anxiety should take into consideration:

1) Self-Assessment

When you get to know the ins and outs of yourself as an individual, as well as a musician, you are inching your way towards overcoming performance anxiety. Knowing what makes you tick both inside and outside musical circles will help you to better deal with the problems you face before, during and after a performance. A musician should analyze their performance goals, personal capabilities and limitations.

Musicians should also know that everyone has to start somewhere with infinite room for improvement. It is quite important for a musician to perform to the best of their abilities, as well as learn from mistakes and peer criticism.

2) Exposure: Baby Steps

Musicians should take the opportunity to gradually expose themselves to varying levels of performing. One moment a full-length mirror becomes a suitable audience, while the next could be a crowd of five friends. Testing low, medium and high levels of stressful performance situations will help musicians slowly overcome the issues faced in regards to performing. Additional suggestions include practice performances in an empty theater, dress rehearsals with friends and taping acts, then viewing them with family and friends.

3) Preparation

In anything that we do, preparation is an important component for achieving success. A good performance is one that has been thought out, thoroughly visualized and played over and over again in the mind. Once the mental preparation is complete, the physical part of the process involves sufficient practice and specific rehearsing for the particular venue you may perform at. Before a performance, a musician should enter this moment with a clear head. Meditation, yoga and other muscle relaxation techniques can create the right state of mind.

4) During a Performance

Every musician at some point in their lives will feel the flutter of butterflies before, during or after a performance. This is a normal occurrence that just takes some longer to get over. When it comes to the audience, you shouldn't focus on blocking them out, but instead embrace them as support. If you go into a performance thinking that no one likes you or during a presentation focus on scowling faces, you will surely surrender to your flight or fight performance anxiety tactics.

Try to put anxiety in the backseat and attempt to stay calm. If you make a mistake, such as tickle the wrong piano keys, simply move on and do not dwell on small imperfections that pale in comparison to the overall scheme of things. Sometimes, if you don't wear your disappointment or errors on your face, the audience is less apt to remember or care about mistakes. Breathing techniques will also come in handy once you get into the thick of performing and feel a touch of anxiety.

5) After the Performance

After each performance, take the time to assess yourself before relying on the approval or criticism of others. No one but you truly knows all of the hard work and preparation that went into your performance. Take the time to give yourself a mental pat on the back. Next, combine outside comments with your gut feeling to decide on what you can do next time. Regardless if you had the performance of your life or tanked on your first break, there are always aspects of your musical craft that you can still shape and mold for the future.

Musicians Classified Ads are the most popular method of connecting with musicians in today's high-tech world.

Why? Well to put it bluntly... it's easy.

All you have to do is write a few lines describing which type of musician you're looking for and you're done. From there you just wait for responses.

However, along with everything else that is easy, just about anyone can do it and as expected, they do. And with that brings along a whole new set of challenges for serious musicians when attempting to find others for your band.

So today we're going to talk about the Top 5 Reasons Why Musicians Classified Ads Suck!

#5. Too Much Noise-

If you were to look at any Musicians' Classified Ad section you'll notice that there are just too many ads. It has become way too hard to compete with all of the other noise that screams for your potential band mate's attention. At best you'll only get a handful of responses and chances are that it will be too late when you realize you've wasted your time auditioning musicians who aren't up to snuff.

#4. Musicians Wanted Ads Are Needy-

Maybe you've never thought about it, or maybe it's just never been brought to your attention, but the average Musicians' Classified Ad is extremely needy sounding. Think about it... most of them are titled "Guitarist Wanted..." or "Drummer Needed".

When musicians seek out others from a frame of need or want, they usually only connect with other needy musicians who desperately want to be in a band. Mot of the time the people you connect with would rather just try to sound cool and say "Yeah, I'm in a band," than actually be a contributing and valued member of a band.

#3. There Is Nothing In It For The Musicians You Seek.

Most Musicians' Classified Ads are written in a manner that basically says "Me, me, me. Blah, blah, blah. Call for a demo," or something to that effect. 9 times out of 10 there are no reasons given why a musician should even respond in the first place. Most Musicians' Classified Ads never offer anything that would make a talented player stop and think, "Wow! That sounds like a great band for me to join!"

#2. There Are More People Posting Than There Are Responding.

Some Musicians' Classified Ad Sections are split into 2 groups: The first being the "Musicians Wanted" group and the second is the "Musicians Available" group. Usually there are 20 times as many "Wanted" ads as there are "Available" Ads. This means that most band never connect with the "right" musicians and the top players have to sort through a million and one needy band ads to find a band worthy of their talent. It doesn't long for either party to get fed up and jaded to the whole process.

And The #1 Reason Why Musician Classified Ads Suck Is:

#1. Musician Classified Ads Don't Require Any Talent, Skill, or Dedication To Post.

As mentioned in the opening of this article, posting Musicians' Classifieds Ads is extremely easy. In fact any old chump can do it. The problem is that because of the ease of use associated with these ad sections, the field gets cluttered with so many unqualified players that it's really hard for the truly dedicated, skilled and talented players to stand above all of the other noise and identify themselves as the true leaders of the music community.

The truth is that the internet had leveled the playing field for everyone. Regardless of talent or experience level, every musician has an equal chance of having an ad at the top of the list.

Not that this is a bad thing... every musician has a right to start a band. However there needs to be a way for the truly dedicated musicians to make themselves known amidst all of the other noise. And luckily there is one.

As someone who has faced and overcome these challenges with my own band, I've decided to share my secrets to dominating musicians classified ad sections with you.

Queen (band) history

Queen
From 1968 to Still active
Hometown London
Genre(s) Rock, rock and roll,hard rock, pop
Members Brian May, Roger Taylor, Freddie Mercury, The Bass Player
Notable Single(s) All of them
Notable Album(s) All of them
Awards Most amount of chest hair on a single male, Best Band Ever (fan based award)
Record Label OMG Records

Queen are an English rock/metal band, formed in 1970 by friends Freddie Mercury, Brian May and Roger Taylor as an alternative option to manual labor. Later on, they recruited The Bass Player who helped the band to grow through his knowledge of hairdressing. Over a period of twenty years together they produced many hit albums, and wrote numerous hit songs like "Another One Bites The Crust" (a song about pizza), "We Will Rock You (For A Nominal Fee)", "Nous Sommes Les Champignons (We Are The Mushrooms)", and their most famous work, a complex multi-layered track named "Bohemian Rape 'n' Sodomy". They also wrote many other famous songs and some that are better best forgotten.


Early Years

Queen was formed in 1970 by three friends, Freddie Mercury, Roger Taylor, and Brian May. They began their musical career with regular performances at their local Sainsbury's, where Brian May was working as a cleaner. He would later be fired over his continual use of the store brooms in place of a guitar when the band were tight on cash. They made no money whatsoever and Mercury was forced to seek employment around the corner at McDonalds.

After a successful litigation over May's dismissal from Sainsbury's, the band soon had enough money to buy an old Guitar. This allowed them to actually make music. They played their first real gig on a fishing vessel near Brighton. Unfortunately, Mercury's voice was mistaken by other ships in the area as a siren song, causing 69 vessels to crash on nearby rocks nearby. This would later lead to the creation of the song "69".

The Quest For Success

After several months spent covering BB King songs, Mercury decided to start writing original compositions and stop acting like a man. His first song was called "Keep Yourself Alive", an ode to the consequences of drink driving. It was soon a smash hit in Japan. Unfortunately, he was later informed that Brian May had written it. Mercury then proceeded to throw a fit, which lead to his infamous '18 Month Wardrobe Tour', in which Mercury toured the UK performing his own piano version of the song from within the confines of an oak wardrobe.

Freddie during the infamous '18 Month Wardrobe Tour'

"Keep Yourself Alive" provided Queen with a steady income of ten dollars a month, leading to more exciting drinking nights at their local tavern. The band soon realized their next logical step - leave the tavern and go on tour. The next day, Roger, Freddie, Brian and The Bass Player said goodbye to their first manager One-Eyed Johnny. They made a great loss that night, as Johnny was also the producer of their first five singles. They toured almost all of the clubs and taverns of Northern England and Ireland, but nothing felt like Johnny's half-eaten trailer. Drummer Roger Taylor, after a night of heavy drinking, fell into a deep depression and attempted to kill himself with a rusty carving knife; after a seven hour ordeal of sobbing and intermittent drum solos, Taylor was calmed down sufficiently by the band's road crew with the promise of cake.

Despite such incidents, the tour was successful and the band gathered enough money to buy a old tape recorder and hire a flat in West Liverpool. The band remained confused over their financial status having successfully drawn hundreds of thousands of fans to their tour. New manager Jim Breach, a retired hobo, said that it was because they were all too tired to think straight. He was later seen paying for a private helicopter using money that smelled like the Queen tour. Producing a smash hit EP entitled "The Bass Player", the band could now afford a recorder with two microphones and longer battery time. This, then, was the break they had been looking for and Queen set about recording their first album. They called it "Clean".

Clean (1973)

The first full length record by Queen, Clean was an early concept album telling the story of a young man's dream of a world obsessively neat and tidy. This motif does not pervade all of the songs however, and so the album was never really considered to be 'concept'.

Tracklisting:

  1. "Keep Yourself Alive" (May) – 3:48
  2. "Cleaning All Night" (May) – 4:09
  3. "Great King Brat" (Mercury) – 5:41
  4. "My Fairy Liquid" (Mercury) – 4:08
  5. "Pliars" (Mercury) – 6:26
  6. "The Sink Turns Pink" (May) – 4:23
  7. "Modern Times Toilet Bowl" (Taylor) – 1:48
  8. "Sod Your Daughter" (May) – 3:21
  9. "Jesus, Me Heart Sir!" (Mercury) – 3:44

Our Number Two (1974)

In 1973, on the back of the moderate success of Album, the band released their second album, Our Number Two. This was prompted by a band decision that another record after the original might sell just as well as the first and lead them to record a third album. With this sound principle in mind, Queen produced a hard sounding slice of rock glory and a number one record featuring such hits as "Seven Seas Of Sperm", "Some Day, One Day, Not Today, Was It Yesterday?" and the timeless sing-along classic "Nevermind". "Seven Seas Of Sperm" was so successful the band chose to include it twice on the record.

Tracklisting:

  1. "Prolapse" (May) – 1:12
  2. "Father To Son Incest" (May) – 6:14
  3. "Quite Clean (As It Happens)" (May) – 4:36
  4. "Some Day, One Day, Not Today, Was It Yesterday?" (May) – 4:22
  5. "A Bulldozer Up The End" (Taylor) – 4:03
  6. "Olga Battle" (Mercury) – 4:08
  7. "The Fairly Stupid Mister Stroke" (Mercury) – 2:41
  8. "Nevermind" (Mercury) – 1:18
  9. "The Larch Of The Black Queen" (Mercury) – 6:33
  10. "Scummy, Our Love Is" (Mercury) – 2:50
  11. "Seven Seas Of Sperm" (Mercury) – 2:49


My First Heart Attack (1974)

The band's second album did indeed sell even more than their first album and rocketed the band into stardom. Queen went on to tour the world 3 times in one year, playing to sold out venues in every country that is recognized as a country and even one small island where the inhabitants had never even heard music before. Despite several torn body stockings, a broken pair of curling tongs and the loss of Roger Taylor's shin bone during a particularly powerful bass drum solo in Munich, things were looking grand for Queen.

But during the final performance of the band's last show on their third world tour of the year 1973, the pressures of such a long jaunt finally caught up with them. The entire band collapsed on stage mid-song. All of them were rushed to the nearest hospital except for The Bass Player who had a sit down, several glasses of water and felt well enough to take the stage once more and close the gig on his own, employing the singing of the crowd as a convenient cover for the absence of the other members including the bass player.

It transpired that the entire group had suffered a collective heart attack brought about by the stress of such long touring and the sheer force of their rocking. Surprised at their own power and dwindling stamina, the band headed into the recording studio in January 1974 to record their third album My First Heart Attack. The new songs were heavier than anything they had done before, each track exploring the visions each band member had experienced during their brush with death. The Bass Player had visualized a difficult vomiting at the end of a dark tunnel and felt compelled to write "Misfire". Brian May took a more literal path with his writing, producing the hits "Stone Cold Fucking Dead" and "Now My Arm Tingles".

But the most revealing experience from the whole affair had been Mercury's. Having recently broken up with his girlfriend but not fully understanding why he had done it, Freddie's visions as he lay close to death began to shed light on the truth of his sexual nature. This lead to his first musical expressions of desire for other men in "Brighton Cock" and "One Off The Wrist".

Tracklisting:

  1. "Brighton Cock" (May) – 5:08
  2. "Gorilla Queen" (Mercury) – 3:01
  3. "Tenement Monster" (Taylor) – 2:48
  4. "One Off The Wrist" (Mercury) – 3:19
  5. "Shirley Of The Valley" (Mercury) – 1:43
  6. "Now My Arm Tingles" (May) – 4:10
  7. "In The Lap Of A Prostitute" (Mercury) – 3:20
  8. "Stone Cold Fucking Dead" (May) – 2:12
  9. "Dear Fiends" (May) – 1:07
  10. "Misfire" (The Bass Player) – 1:50
  11. "How Black Is Leroy Brown?" (Mercury) – 2:13
  12. "She Shakes Me (Dance For Her in Stilettos)" (May) – 4:08
  13. "In The Lap Of A Prostitute...Revisited" (Mercury) – 3:42

International Success

Word got out to the rest of the world that Queen was stealing the stage in England, and foolishly the world chose to open its doors to the band in hopes of using their songs during parliamentary broadcasts. Queen then stole the stage from the rest of the world, sometimes during the middle of performances by other bands. U2 infamously suffered for this during their first ever gig at the Meat and Taters Inn, beginning their set on stage to a packed crowd and closing it in the beer cellar.

A Day As a Racist (1976)

Having experienced a massive boost in their income, Queen became drunk on their success and innumerable bottles of Babycham. This lead to the recording of their most unloved album, called A Day As A Racist. Featuring fifteen minute guitar solos performed by Brian May whilst sitting on a toilet during his daily bowel movement, and cathedral organs filling in for any real form of percussion, the album was a bold leap forward musically for Queen. The lyrics however created a furore around the group throughout the world.

The power of fame had affected Freddie Mercury most of all and he now turned his lyrical attention to insulting, abusing and slagging off every nation on the face of the Earth. Whilst many of Queen's own fans praised the group for 'finally having the guts to acknowledge the pointless existence of the Swiss', many music critics and music lovers alike balked at the blatant racism and abusive rhymes.

In spite of all this, the single "Somebody To Club" hit number one in the charts throughout Europe and would later be covered by George Michael and his rhythm and blues orchestra.

Tracklisting:

  1. "Tie Your Burma Down" (May) – 4:47
  2. "Please Take The Swiss Away" (Mercury) – 5:09
  3. "Long and Gay (The Penis Song)" (May) – 3:34
  4. "The Millipede Waltz" (Mercury) – 4:54
  5. "Jew and I" (The Bass Player) – 3:25
  6. "Somebody To Club" (Mercury) – 4:56
  7. "Afro-Caribbean Man" (May) – 4:59
  8. "Good Old-Fashioned Gutter Toy" (Mercury) – 2:54
  9. "Browse (A Selection of Fine Hams)" (Taylor) – 3:45
  10. "Man With Tourettes (Let Us Play With Clingfilm Together)" (May) – 5:50

A Day And A Night At The Opera (1975)

Queen didn't care so much about making albums by now, as they were practically bigger than former The Beatles member Jesus Christ. Earning an enormous amount from touring and stealing from old ladies on the street, they made plans to record a new record. Someone however was stupid enough to waste it all on a Pacific Island Recording Studio and a 40% share in Costco. Freddie never figured out who wasted the money, leading the new record to become a tax dodging financial recuperation. Failing to see why they should produce any new material considering how well loved their previous albums had been, the band simply re-recorded two old albums in stereo and changed the track titles. It was a huge success. By now Mercury had been recognized as one of rock's greatest vocalists, but not yet as one of rock's greatest homosexuals.

The song 'Your Breath Cuts Thru Lead (What You Been Eatin')' has a very interesting back story. It was written about one of Brian May's ex-girlfriends. Their relationship ended when Brian walked in on Roger Taylor giving the woman a very feisty kiss. When asked what the kiss was like, Roger responded with, "Her breath cuts through lead,". These words inspired The Bass Player to write a song based around the events.

Tracklisting:

  1. "Death On Six Legs (Dedicated To The Spider Queen)" (Mercury) – 3:43
  2. "Hazing On A Monday Afternoon" (Mercury) – 1:07
  3. "I'm In Love With My Cat" (Taylor) – 3:04
  4. "Your Breath Cuts Thru Lead (What You Been Eatin')" (The Bass Player) – 2:52
  5. "69" (May) – 3:30
  6. "Sweet Shop Lady" (May) – 4:03
  7. "Tyneside Rendezvous" (Mercury) – 2:14
  8. "The Puppets Wrong" (May) – 8:20
  9. "You F****d my wife" (Mercury) – 3:38
  10. "Good Timpany" (May) – 3:23
  11. "Bohemian Rape 'n' Sodomy" (Mercury) – 5:54
  12. "God, Shut Your Face" (trad.; Arr. Brian May) – 1:13

Daily Mirror (1977)

Tracklisting:

  1. "We Will Rock You (For A Nominal Fee)" (May) – 2:01
  2. "Nous Sommes Les Champignons (We Are the Mushrooms)" (Mercury) – 2:59
  3. "Queer Heart Attack" (Roger Taylor) – 3:26
  4. "Old Eggs, Old Eggs" (May) – 3:09
  5. "Spread Your Legs" (The Bass Player) – 4:32
  6. "Fart From The Inside" (Taylor) – 3:03
  7. "Get Ingredients, Make Dinner" (Mercury) – 3:51
  8. "Peeing On The Sidewalk" (May) – 3:07
  9. "The Who Needs You" (The Bass Player) – 3:07
  10. "It's Rape" (May) – 6:27
  11. "My Border Collie Follows Through" (Mercury) – 3:29

Jizz (1978)

With Jizz, the band moved into new lyrical and musical territory, recording much of the record on a small island off the coast of Australia as a tax dodge. The use of a "lounge band" style for much of the album gave an interesting feel that was very different to previous records. The reception from fans was a unique one for Queen; a three day stand-off involving the band as hostages, where the fans forced them to re-record the entire record. The police were finally able to bring the situation to an end just as the new version of the album was being pressed. The band filed charges against their entire official fan club and the record was released the following week, heading straight to number one in the album charts.

Tracklisting:

  1. "Mustache" (Mercury) – 3:01
  2. "Fat Bottom-Turds" (May) – 4:16
  3. "Heresy" (Mercury) – 3:13
  4. "Bisexual Race" (Mercury) – 3:01
  5. "If You Can't Eat Them" (The Bass Player) – 4:15
  6. "Let Me Infiltrate You" (Mercury) – 3:01
  7. "Dead On Arrival" (May) – 3:23
  8. "In Only Seven Decades" (The Bass Player) – 2:30
  9. "Hitler's Ball" (May) – 3:30
  10. "Fudge It" (Taylor) – 3:29
  11. "Carving Stone Ain't Easy" (May) – 3:15
  12. "Don't Touch Me Now (Wife's Anthem)" (Mercury) – 3:29
  13. "More Of That Jizz" (Taylor) – 4:16

Hash Nordon Soundtrack (1979)

In 1979, Queen were commissioned to produce the official soundtrack to an action adventure movie called Hash Nordon. The eponymous Hash was a drug-addled clip show presenter, searching the galaxy for high adventure and a more durable clipboard. Rising to the challenge, the band produced over three hours of material. The results were so terrible that the film makers not only fired Queen from the project but took out an injunction against them to prevent them from ever releasing the material commercially. In an attempt to save face in front of their fans, the band held a press conference to announce the theft of the studio sessions. To date, the Hash Nordon Soundtrack remains unheard.

The Slightly Less Awesome

The early 80's proved to be a disheartening decade for Queen. With the birth and subsequent death of punk music and the rise of the new romantics, the once great rock monster found itself battling the Mothra of dismal 80's music. Queen decided to fight crap pop with louder crap pop.

The Lame (1980)

Tracklisting:

  1. "Gay Ain't Lame" (Mercury) - 3:30
  2. "Bladder Attack" (May) - 4:18
  3. "Another One Bites the Crust" (The Bass Player) - 3:35
  4. "Need Your Land-Rover Tonight" (The Bass Player) - 2:50
  5. "Elvis Never Did This - Honest" (Mercury) - 2:44
  6. "Sod It (I've Got Hives)" (Taylor) - 4:32
  7. "Don't Try Lou Diamond" (Mercury) - 3:53
  8. "Sail Away Sweaty Sister (To The Sister That Smelt So Bad)" (May) - 3:33
  9. "Funny Spoon" (Taylor) - 2:51
  10. "Shave Me" (May) - 3:50

Hot Spasm (1982)

In their quest for more singles, Queen produced an album that sounded like everyone else's. Consequently, this is generally considered to be the worst Queen album. Some psychologists theorize that this is because The Bass Player, who was tiring of part-time hairdressing, was becoming more influential in the musical direction of the band. Years later, guest vocalist David Bowie would shoulder the blame for the failure of "Hot Spasm", claiming that the overwhelming awesomeness of his mere presence in the studio had distracted the band from recording a decent album. This story has been disputed in recent years by The Bass Player, who says Bowie did little during the sessions but make tea and run a vacuum around the studio once a day.

Tracklisting:

  1. "Stoppin' Power" (Mercury) – 4:10
  2. "Wanker" (May) – 3:46
  3. "Back Fat" (The Bass Player) – 4:31
  4. "Body Lotion" (Mercury) – 4:29
  5. "Action Is Gay" (Taylor) – 3:33
  6. "Put Out The Cat" (May) – 3:15
  7. "Eat More Veal (Song For Lenin)" (Mercury) – 3:39
  8. "Balling All Girls" (Taylor) – 3:53
  9. "bye" (May) – 4:26
  10. "Cool Fat" (The Bass Player / Mercury) – 3:26
  11. "Udder Pleasure" (Queen / Bowie) – 4:02

The Buerks (1984)

In an attempt to return to their rock roots, Queen released "The Buerks". It was aptly named and became a hateful figure amongst fans in the band's catalog. Queen had foolishly decided to record an album that sounded nothing like an album. Instead, they hoped to achieve the effect of a greatest hits set by writing each song from the perspective of being a single. This lead to the following years being filled with live shows featuring only the songs on this record, as the band felt they had accidentally created the best songs of their career. Fans were known to commit suicide at their concerts rather than endure yet another twelve minute rendition of the album's lead single "Radio? AAAAARRGGGHHHH!!!"

Tracklisting:

  1. "Radio? AAAAARRGGGHHHH!!!" (Taylor) – 5:45
  2. "Scare It Up" (May) – 3:28
  3. "It's A Kitchen Knife" (Mercury) – 4:08
  4. "Have You Seen My Owl?" (Mercury) – 3:28
  5. "Marines (Or 'Back To Sea, Lads!')" (May/Taylor) – 5:10
  6. "I Want To Go Pee" (The Bass Player) – 3:20
  7. "Keep's Crashing, This Microsoft Windows" (Mercury) – 5:21
  8. "Spanner To Fall" (May) – 4:28
  9. "Is This The Album We Created...?" (Mercury/May) – 2:13

The Clinical (1989)

With "The Clinical", the band tried to move into new territory - and failed dismally. It wasn't the strongest idea for a concept album - ten songs developed from entries in the Mosby's Medical Encyclopedia - and it was criticized by fans and critics alike for it's tinny sound production (it was recorded in an operating theater) and it's persistently graphic medical themes. Another point of conflict was the conjoined four-head of Queen's members, which was achieved by a controversial doctor in India. Monty Python fans were upset over the eerie resemblance to their three-headed knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The album produced only one hit single; the techno rock cult classic 'I Have No Gall Bladder'.

Tracklisting:

  1. "Pancreoplasty" (Queen) – 2:24
  2. "Khashoggi's Snip" (Queen) – 2:47
  3. "The Clinical" (Queen) – 5:02
  4. "I Have No Gall Bladder" (Queen) – 4:40
  5. "The Invisible Mammagram" (Queen) – 3:55
  6. "Brain Tumour" (Queen) – 4:07
  7. "Testes Must Fall (At On-set Of Pubertal Development)" (Queen) – 4:20
  8. "Scrotal" (Queen) – 4:42
  9. "My Bladder Pains Me" (Queen) – 3:22
  10. "Was Gender Reassignment Worth It?" (Queen) – 5:45

On Its Last Legs

By late 1989, it had become clear to the other members of Queen that Freddie Mercury was unwell. In spite of initially failing to be concerned, the band's management eventually convinced May and Taylor to broach the subject with Mercury, who claimed to be suffering from a heavy cold. With this in mind, the band set about recording one more album, for fear that a chesty cough or throat infection might rob their singer of his amazing vocal prowess. For May and Taylor, the possibility of no longer earning royalties from new Queen albums was too terrifying to comprehend and Mercury was placed in an oxygen chamber 24 hours a day, absorbing cough syrup intravenously through a funnel held up using the body of a dead newt. This is credited for the particularly distinctive vocal sound on this album.

Sexual Innuendo (1991)

For what the band believed could be their final studio album, themes of sexual exploration were explored to the farthest exploratory points of the band's previous explorations. After several weeks attempting to fathom the meaning of this, recording began in earnest.

Tracklisting:

  1. "Sexual Innuendo" (Queen) – 6:29
  2. "I'm Growing Slightly Hard" (Queen) – 4:22
  3. "Handjob" (Queen) – 4:39
  4. "I Can't Sleep With You" (Queen) – 4:35
  5. "Don't Bite So Hard" (Queen) – 3:39
  6. "Ride The Wild Bitch" (Queen) – 4:41
  7. "All God's Peep-holes" (Queen / Mike Moran) – 4:19
  8. "These Are The Ways We Could Try" (Queen) – 4:12
  9. "Delight Her" (Queen) – 3:32
  10. "The Prick Man" (Queen) – 4:52
  11. "Bum You" (Queen) – 3:36
  12. "The Shag Must Go On" (Queen) – 4:24

The record was universally panned for its weak lyrics. One critic commented "The record never really rises to the occasion," while another remarked that "The record lacks spunk - there's no excitement and you never feel truly satisfied". Two singles were ejaculated from the record - "Handjob" and "The Shag Must Go On". "Handjob" lingered around the middle of the charts while "The Shag Must Go On" reached number 2 and remained there for some time.

Post Mortem

In September of 1991, Freddie Mercury died. The other members of Queen were shocked to say the least, considering that only days before his end Mercury had been holding themed dinner receptions at his country home. At the last of these functions, whose theme was supporting characters from Doctor Who, May had warned his friend and band mate about the risks of reheating rice in a microwave. Ever the adventurous naysayer, Mercury had then proceeded to reheat several bowls of Indian white rice in his vintage microwave and devour them before May's very eyes. Several days later, Mercury would be found dead by his gardener.

The shock of the food poisoning related demise of Queen's enigmatic front man made headlines internationally and a period of mourning was entered into by all bar the citizens of Switzerland (who had still not forgiven Queen for A Day As A Racist). Britain's own Queen offered to abdicate the throne in favor of a gold-framed photography of Mercury, but her kind gesture was politely declined by the remaining members of the band. Instead, a tribute concert was organized in the gardens of Buckingham Palace, featuring the vocal talents of many famous singers. Poor weather and low visibility on the day of the concert prevented them from attending, however, leading to Queen roping in Axl Rose at the last minute, along with David Bowie and Annie Lennox (both of whom were struggling at the time with a mutual cough syrup addiction).

For now, it seemed that Queen's reign at the top of the music charts had finally come to an end. Mercury was cremated on Christmas Eve 1991 and his ashes used to decorate the festive tree at Queen HQ. Children were allowed to pay to see the tree, all proceeds going to The Freddie Mercury Foundation, a charitable organization set up for victims of food poisoning.

Made In Droitwich (1995)

In 1995, the remaining members of Queen, who were all alive despite media claims of the premature death of The Bass Player's fashion sense, assembled at a former army barracks in Kent. Here they were played several cassette tapes of the late Freddie Mercury singing about losing his virginity for the first time (and later the fifth). Astounded by the sheer nonsense they heard, the band decided to polish up these 'demos' by re-recording them and writing new lyrics that weren't about bursting cherries in order to create a final record featuring the original line-up.

Relocating to a commercial studio in the Midlands, Queen sans Freddie began recording brand new music together for the first time. The results soon illustrated why they had not bothered to do so since their lead singers' death, and the sessions were scrapped. Returning to the original tapes, the band decided to simply play their instruments over the top of Freddie's tapes and simply call it a new album anyway.

Two singles were torn from the final record. The first, 'Rubber Love', hit number six in the Russian charts and remained confident throughout. The second single, 'You're A Fool Mate', failed to chart and instead became a popular disco soundtrack amongst the over forties. But the lasting impression amongst the band's fan base soon brought the band to the decision to release the aborted sessions of new music. This 'new' album would be called Made In Taiwan after an incident involving Brian May's deportation from the country of the same name, after he was discovered smuggling an effects box into the country inside his hair.

Tracklisting:

  1. "It's A Beautiful Gay" (Queen) – 2:32
  2. "Made In Droitwich" (Mercury) – 5:25
  3. "Let Me Limp" (Queen) – 4:45
  4. "Rubber Love" (May / Mercury) – 4:49
  5. "My Wife Has Been Shaved" (Queen) – 3:15
  6. "I Was Born to Bum You" (Mercury) – 4:49
  7. "Herrings Love Any Plankton" (Taylor) – 5:36
  8. "Too Much LSD Will Kill You" (May / Musker / Lamers) – 4:20
  9. "You're a Fool Mate" (Queen) – 5:24
  10. "Michael Winner's Tale" (Queen) – 3:49
  11. "It's A Beautiful Gay (Reprise)" (Queen) – 3:01
  12. "Naaaaaah" (Queen) – 0:04
  13. "Seemingly random crap that sounds really awesome when you hear

it smoking weed(Queen) – 22:32

Queen: The Next Generation

Current lineup of Queen: The Next Generation.
Crazee BoyAdded by Crazee Boy

Shortly after the success of Made In Droitwich, Queen recorded a new album, Made In Taiwan which consisted of the original abandoned recordings for the former album. A new and frankly epic 35 minute version of "Unicycle Race" would become the lead single, prompting riots throughout Kensington. With no lead singer, they hired a random she-male from the streets of Bangkok for every song. Although an utterly flawed and stupid idea, the album went number one everywhere, except for Italy, a country that had not yet forgiven the band for A Day As A Racist.

Fun Facts

  • Queen's original name was King, but Freddie Mercury altered it for fear it sounded 'too camp'.
  • Jimmy Page was a session musician for the album A Day As A Racist. This lead to rumors that he played guitar on every album Queen produced and that Brian May couldn't actually play at all.
  • On every album, there is at least ten minutes of total silence, to build up tension, except A Day As A Racist, which contains a twenty minute guitar solo featuring only three chords.
  • Roger Taylor has grown incredibly fat in recent years, yet still fits behind a traditional drum kit.
  • Queen played their first gig in the basement of Roger's parent's house, to an audience of stuffed animals.
  • When not recording, writing, touring or just hanging out, the remaining members of Queen take care of their herd of wild water buffalo and attend honorary university ceremonies.
  • Queen prided themselves on their insistence on not using Jew's Harp on their albums. Many of the early records carried a "No Jew's Harp" tag.
  • Over 10,000 people have reported deafness due to hearing Roger Taylor's falsetto.
  • If you reverse the name of the band, the resulting word is "Neeuq" - ancient Egyptian for "The Austin Allegro was a very poor car".
  • Playing "Ogre Battle" backwards causes a wormhole to open in Montreaux, Switzerland. The large statue of Freddie located there is said to have fallen out of such a wormhole. The only way to close it is to have Roger Taylor scream into it.
  • Every artist is inspired by Queen or else no new music will exist.
  • All of the band members dumped their lovers for their cars.
freddie mercury
5 september 1946 - 24 november 1991

" is this the real life
is this just fantasy
caught in the land slide
no escape from reality"

Freddie Mercury was born Farrokh Bulsara on Thursday September 5th 1946 on the small spice island of Zanzibar. His parents, Bomi and Jer Bulsara, were both Parsee (Persian). His father, Bomi, was a civil servant, working as a High Court cashier for the British Government. Freddie's sister, Kashmira, was born in 1952. In 1954, at the age of eight, Freddie was shipped to St Peter's English boarding school in Panchgani, about fifty miles outside Bombay. It was there his friends began to call him Freddie, a name the family also adopted.

As St Peter's was an English school, the sports played there were typically English. Freddie loathed cricket and long-distance running, but he liked hockey, sprint and boxing. At the age of 10 he became a school champion in table tennis. Freddie was not only a good sportsman, his artistic skills were incomparable. At the age of twelve he was awarded the school trophy as Junior All-rounder. He loved art, and was always sketching for friends or relatives.

He was also music mad and played records on the family's old record player, stacking the singles to play constantly. The music he was able to get was mostly Indian, but some Western music was available. He would sing along to either and preferred music to school work.

The principal headmaster of St Peter's had noticed Freddie's musical talent, and wrote to his parents suggesting that they might wish to pay a little extra on Freddie's school fees to enable him to study music properly. They agreed, and Freddie began to learn to play the piano. He also became a member of the school choir and took part regularly in school theatrical productions. He loved his piano lessons and applied himself to them with determination and skill, finally achieving Grade IV both in practical and theory.

In 1958, five friends at St Peter's - Freddie Bulsara, Derrick Branche, Bruce Murray, Farang Irani and Victory Rana - formed the school's rock'n roll band, the Hectics, where Freddie was the piano player. They would play at school parties, at annual fetes and school dances, but little else is known about them.

In 1962, Freddie finished school, returned to Zanzibar and spent his time with friends in and around the markets, parks and beaches. In 1964, many of the British and Indians, due to political unrest in Zanzibar, left their country, although not under forcible pressure, and among those driven out were the Bulsaras who migrated to England.

Initially they lived with relatives in Feltham, Middlesex, until they were able to find their own small, terraced house in the area. Freddie was seventeen, and had derided he wanted to go to art college, but needed at least one A level to ensure he could get in. In September 1964 he enrolled at the nearby Isleworth Polytechnic

During vacations he took a variety of jobs to earn some money; one was in the catering department at Heathrow Airport, a stone's throw from home, and the other was on the Feltham trading estate, where he had a job in a warehouse lifting and stacking heavy crates and boxes. His fellow workers commented on his 'delicate' hands, certainly not suited for such work, and asked him what he did. He told them he was a musician just 'filling in time', and such was his charm that those co-workers were soon doing the lion's share of his work.

He studied hard, although he preferred the aesthetic side of school life to the more mundane academic side, and easily achieved his Art A level, leaving Isleworth in the spring of 1966. His grade A pass and his natural skill ensured that he was readily accepted by Ealing College of Art and, in September 1966, Freddie began a graphic illustrating course at that college.

After Jimi Hendrix exploded onto the scene in 1967, and Freddie became an ardent fan, he spent time sketching and drawing his hero; drawings he would frame and use to decorate the walls of his flat in Kensington, rented by his friend Chris Smith, where Freddie had moved from the family home in Feltham. At that time Kensington was an important place to be for the art crowd - it was the base of the famous Biba boutique and the home of Kensington Market, frequented by the then 'in' crowd.

A fellow student at Ealing College was bass player Tim Staffell, with whom Freddie became good friends. As Tim's and Freddie's friendship became closer, Tim took him along to rehearsals of his band called Smile, with Brian May on the guitar and Roger Taylor on the drums. Freddie got on famously with Brian and Roger and loved the sound that Smile had achieved; he also had immense admiration and respect for Brian's guitar-playing. Inspired by Smile, Freddie began to experiment with music for the first time since leaving India.

He initially began to practice with Tim, another art student Nigel Foster, and with Chris Smith. "The first time I heard Freddie sing I was amazed," recounts Chris. "He had a huge voice. Although his piano style was very affected, very Mozart, he had a great touch. From a piano player's point of view, his approach was unique."

"Freddie and I eventually got to write little bits of songs which we linked together," adds Chris. "It makes sense when you consider Bohemian Rhapsody. It was an interesting way getting from one piece in a different key signature to another. But I don't think we actually finished anything. Freddie certainly taught me a lot at those sessions. He had great, natural sense of melody. I picked that up straight away. For me it was the most interesting aspect of what he was doing."

Freddie left Ealing College in June 1969, with a diploma in graphic art and design, and a few commissions for adverts in local newspapers. He moved into Roger Taylor's flat, and that summer opened a stall with Roger at Kensington Market, initially selling artwork by himself and fellow Ealing students, and later Victorian or whatever clothes, new and secondhand, he could lay his hands on.

In the summer of 1969 Freddie was introduced to a Liverpool band called Ibex, who had come to London to try to make a name for themselves. Ibex were a three-piece, with guitarist Mike Bersin, John 'Tupp' Taylor on bass and Mick 'Miffer' Smith on drums. They also brought with them their apprentice manager, roadie and general dogsbody Ken Testi; part-time bass player Geoff Higgins used to travel down for occasional gigs. Geoff would play bass when Tupp, a great Jethro Tull fan, wanted to play flute.

Freddie first met Ibex on 13th August 1969. Such was his enthusiasm, that just ten days later, he'd learned the band's set, brought in a few new songs, and had traveled to Bolton, Lancashire, for a gig with them - his debut public performance. The first date was 23rd August, and the occasion was one of Bolton's regular afternoon 'Bluesology' sessions, held at the town's Octagon Theatre. On the 25th August, Ibex appeared in the first 'Bluesology pop-in', an open-air event on the bandstand in Bolton's Queen Park, and the proceedings were covered in Bolton's 'Evening News'. This even featured an uncredited photograph of Freddie.

While Freddie's trip to Bolton with Ibex was photographed, Ibex's appearance at the Sink was recorded. This recording was made by Geoff Higgins; as he says, tape is chronic quality, but it demonstrates Ibex's love of Cream, Jimi Hendrix, as well as Freddie's favourite of the day, Led Zeppelin.

Somewhere between 9th September and the end of October 1969 Ibex underwent a mini upheaval - at Freddie's instigation. "I recall him canvassing the idea of calling the band Wreckage, but nobody was very enthusiastic," reveals Mike Bersin. "Then he phoned me one night and said, 'The others don't mind. How do you feel?' I said, 'If they agree, then fine'. When I spoke to the others about it, Freddie had phoned them all up and had the same conversation."

The name-change went hand-in-hand with the departure of drummer Mike 'Miffer' Smith. He was replaced by Richard Thompson, the former drummer in Brian May's 1984. Despite flashes of true potential, the end of the 1960s also marked the end of Wreckage. Gigs were few and far between, and while John Taylor, Richard Thompson and Freddie remained in London, Mike Bersin was committed to his college course in Liverpool, as he promised to his parents. Inevitably, the band petered out.

Freddie started to search for another band for himself. He found Sour Milk Sea after seeing a "Vocalist Wanted" advert in the 'Melody Maker'. The pomp and ceremony were impressive, and the band he was auditioning for knew he was the right man, especially when he got around to singing. Freddie had a great voice, with terrific range. But there was not only his voice that made his performances so attractive to people. "He knew how to front a show," - Ken Testi recalls. "It was his way of expressing that side of his personality. Everything he did on stage later in Queen, he was doing with Ibex at his first gig." It wasn't anything that could be developed. It was his charisma, his pure natural gift that was in perfect harmony with his voice, his appearance, his delicate taste and his musicianship in the wide sense of the word. The fact that he realized it himself made him absolutely fascinating!

They offered him the job, and in late 1969 Freddie became the lead singer with Sour Milk Sea. The other members of the band were Chris Chesney on vocals and guitar, bass player Paul Milan, Jeremy 'Rubber' Gallop on rhythm guitar and Rob Tyrell on drums. They did a few rehearsals, and then a few gigs in Oxford (Chris's home town).

Freddie and Chris, who was about seventeen at the time, became close friends and Chris moved into the house that Freddie shared with Smile in Ferry Road, Barnes. The other members of Sour Milk Sea were more than a little peeved Chris and Freddie spent so much time together, and felt rather insecure about the future of the band. After just two months Jeremy, who owned nearly all the equipment, derided to take it back and break up the band.

In April 1970 Tim Staffell decided to leave Smile, and Freddie join them as lead singer. Freddie decided to change the name of the band to Queen, he also changed his last name to Mercury.

The further biography of Freddie Mercury is to considerable degree a story of Queen.

In 1970 Freddie met Mary Austin. They lived together for seven years and remained good friends until his death.

In 1971 John Deacon joined the band and Queen were complete. Freddie designed the band's logo using their birth signs: two fairies for him (Virgo), two lions for Roger and John (Leo) and a crab for Brian (Cancer). Freddie was the author of the first Queen song that entered the British charts (Seven Seas Of Rhye), the first big hit (Killer Queen) and the most famous Queen song that was on the top of charts for 9 weeks (Bohemian Rhapsody). Freddie has always been considered the front-man of the band.

In 1975 Queen toured Japan. A crowd of screaming fans followed them everywhere. They were taken by surprise at the strength of their reception. Freddie fell in love with Japan and soon became a fanatical collector of Japanese art and antiquities.

On October 7th, 1979 Freddie performed with the Royal Ballet. He had never done any ballet before, but it was something he had always wanted to try. The songs he had chosen to perform to were Bohemian Rhapsody and Crazy Little Thing Called Love. Songs were played by the orchestra with Freddie doing live vocals. Freddie's first dance was Bohemian Rhapsody, and he performed with skill in front of a packed house of enthusiastic balletomanes, who loved him, and he received a standing ovation for both his cameo performances.

In 1980 Freddie changed his image. He cut his hair and grew a moustache. His fans began to send him gifts of nail polish and razor blades.

At the end of 1982 Queen all agreed they wanted to take break from each other. They announced they wouldn't be touring throughout 1983. Freddie had been thinking of making a solo album for some time, and at last he had time to do something about it. He booked studio time at Musicland in Munich and began work in early 1983. During that time he was introduced to Georgio Moroder, who was working on a re-release of the 1926 Fritz Lang silent science fiction film Metropolis. He wanted to put a contemporary musical score to the film. He asked Freddie to consider collaborating on a track for the film to which Freddie agreed. He had never before co-written with anyone outside Queen, and had not recorded anyone else's compositions, apart from Larry Lurex. The result of this co-operation was the song Love Kills.

In 1983 Freddie attended a performance of Verdi's Un Ballo In Maschera at the Royal Opera House sometime in May. It was the first time when he saw Spanish opera diva Montserrat Caballé, and the sheer power and beauty of her voice mesmerized him.

On September 10, 1984 Freddie's first solo single was released. It was the track he had co-written with Georgio Moroder for Metropolis, Love Kills.

The first single from his forthcoming solo album was I Was Born To Love You. It was released on April 9, 1985. Three weeks later Freddie's first solo album Mr. Bad Guy was released on CBS Records.

July 13, 1985 was a special day for Queen and Freddie. It was the day of their memorable performance at Live Aid, a tremendous show at Wembley Stadium in front of 72,000 people. Live Aid was also broadcast to over one billion people worldwide. Queen secured their place in history, as every media person, journalist, fan and critic unanimously agreed: Queen stole the show.

The early part of 1987 was very quiet for Queen, so Freddie took the opportunity to go into Townhouse Studios to do some solo work. It resulted in a remake of the classic Platters' song The Great Pretender. The single was released on February 23rd.

In March 1987 Freddie flew to Barcelona to meet Montserrat Caballé. He gave her a cassette with two or four songs. The Spanish opera diva liked these songs and even performed one of them at London's Covent Garden. Freddie was delighted. In early April, Freddie began work on the album he agreed to record with Montserrat Caballé.

At the end of May the island of Ibiza staged a huge festival at the outrageous Ku Club. Freddie agreed to be a guest of honour and closed the event with Montserrat Caballé singing the song he had written for her and her home city, Barcelona.

On October 8th, 1988 Freddie and Montserrat appeared at the huge open air La Nit festival in Barcelona. They performed three tracks from their forthcoming album - How Can I Go On, The Golden Boy and Barcelona, accompanied by Mike Moran on piano. The long-awaited album, Barcelona, finally come out on October 10th.

October 8th was the last time Freddie Mercury performed on stage. At the time, he was terribly ill with AIDS, although he didn't want people to know about it. He announced that fact the day before he died. Being ill he continued to compose and record songs and even took part in making videos. In my opinion, I'm Going Slightly Mad video is his masterpiece.

On November 24th, 1991 Freddie died peacefully at his home in London of AIDS-related bronchial pneumonia.

On April 20th, 1992 a tribute concert in Freddie's memory was held at Wembley Stadium, and many famous rock stars took part in it. But the best tribute to Freddie was the album Made In Heaven, released on November 6th, 1995 by the three remaining members of Queen. We can hear the last songs that Freddie composed and recorded.

Thank you Freddie. We love you.



Matt Bellamy is the lead guitarist/singer/piano player of English rock band Muse. When people talk about great guitar players you'll often hear the same names banded around time after time. People will mention Jimi Hendrix, Slash, Steve Vai, Joe Satriani, Jimmy Page, Eric Clapton and so on, but rarely (if ever) will you hear Bellamy's name mentioned in the same breath.

What I love most about Bellamy is that there has no ego in his playing, and he is never self-indulgent at all. Everything he does he does for the good of the song, and he isn't afraid to make mistakes. If you've ever seen Muse play live you'll also agree that the man knows how to 'wow' a crowd and how to fill a stage and be a showman. For a band with only 3 members, Muse sure do make a lot of noise!

Part of the reason for this is that many of those guitarists are very much in the twilight of their careers, and they have a whole body of work that you can look at that has stood the test of time, whereas Matt Bellamy is still going strong and pumping out album after album - each more revolutionary then the last.

I firmly believe that in years to come people will look back and realise just what an amazing genius Matt Bellamy was. Not only does he have excellent technical ability but he's also extremely creative and unique. On top of this, he has a beautiful singing voice that compliments the music perfectly.

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